COUNCIL APPROVALS - THE NIGHTMARE CONTINUES

Dear readers, as I am sure you know, us architects from time to time are obliged to get your plans approved by the local authority. This sounds harmless and uncomplicated yet it has proved to be the most infuriating and frustrating part of my job since I began practising architecture.

At this moment all architects reading this blog are sighing heavily and chewing on their fingers (their fingernails already at the quick). The mere thought of the municipality sends shudders down the spine.

Now before I go into a 5 page rant listing each grievance I have, I will narrow my focus onto one topic. The topic is: Why are the twelve departments required for submission of building plans not housed in one building? And why are these buildings 30km apart from each other? Oops this is a question too? And we know how the government answers questions; with more questions.

I arrived at the townplanner really early, he still had egg yolk in his beard and the faintest hint of brandy on his breath, this I knew was the first bribery meal of his day and not the last.
I handed him the seven thousand pages of information and drawings; he stares at me as George Bush would do were he to find a word in the dictionary that he could pronounce. "Jammer mevrou, sorry ma'am", this needs to go to these twelve departments. He points to the form. Locations nor phone numbers provided.

So Sherlock Holmes, sans a knowledgable sidekick, heads for the open road in search of 12 smudged stamps and a signature.

Suffice to say dear readers today I have forked out more money for petrol, increased my carbon footprint, dirtied my clean car and still not found the water department.

ROOM WITHOUT A VIEW

Being unseasonably rainy over the last month, many of us in Johannesburg have resorted to watching movies and going to the mall. The mall is not my favourite destination. I loathe the sweating, breathing and shopping hordes. The only time I set foot into one of these places is to buy something I have difficulty buying elsewhere. Yet on this rainy day I find myself at the Telkom shop in Greenstone Mall. Greenstone Mall, located just opposite the new Greenstone development near Modderfontein, is a new mall. This mall is extremely popular with residents in the east of Johannesburg, for numerous reasons. The reasons however are all to flimsy to justify the lack of thinking and planning when this mall was initially designed.

Upon entering the mall I was faced with the most complicated parking system known to man. With ticket in hand I tried to enter the covered parking area. Whoever designed this parking garage was either a miniaturist or a humourist. It is unlikely that one can avoid the kerbs as the turns are so tight and so confusing.
To enter the mall from the parking area I had to ascend a ramp which encloses an outdoor lawned area. This area was completely inundated with junk food eating teenagers lounging on the lawns and children tumbling down the steep arena-like embankments. These people were braving the drizzle and grey skies to be outside and I wondered why? I soon discovered the reason.

I will not go into a long description of how similar this mall is to all other malls, well it is. Even though there are certain redeeming architectural elements at Greenstone Mall, they do little to push the envelope. So after hurriedly finding the Telkom shop and having a brief brouse, I ran for the parking lot.

Out on the road I finally realised how ashamed the designers of this mall should feel. There are spectacular views, in three directions, where this solid box of concrete now sits. There are no restaurants with balconies or shops with views in this mall, it feels like a casino ( and we all know how I feel about casino's). There is one public area open to the elements in this mall and it is the most frequently used, even when it is pouring with rain.
This is Africa and we have sunshine, expansive landscapes and endless horizons. I realized that avoiding the views of a power station and a dynamite factory probably affected the decision to enclose the space and create an upmarket ambience. But were the developers afraid that a chain store might suffer because a tiny peek of nature is too distracting.

Contextually this mall is as absurd as the developments surrounding it. This constant reassurance that the area is now vibrant and young, with new energy and market power, does little to squelch our insecurities. Where are the parks and playgrounds, the open entertainment venues ? Does the mall not consume this enormous void and create a false sense of validation for the entire development?

Well readers I am not going back to this mall in a hurry. It is a pity as many of my newly married friends live in the area and they coax me into drinking coffee at the mall sometimes. I remind them that the lack of glazing and fresh air will make me anti-social but they still believe that it's the de-caffinated coffee speaking.

HOUSE PLANS AT DISCOUNTED RATES?

Architects don't generally advertise, yet it pains me to say that a sudden trend in advertising has produced a very grave situation for architects as professionals.

Reaching deep into my post box this morning, I pulled out about five soggy fliers. Now I generally don't read fliers, they go directly into the bin. But wait, in bold red Arial font, this one caught my attention. "HOUSE PLANS AT REDUCED PRICES " , choke.

Reduce is a word which South African architects know well. We are fully fledged reductionists. Firstly, in this cut throat business of securing a commission, we ignore our institute rates as mere formalities in the industry. Architects complain of other professionals on the project team who receive far greater remuneration for their work, yet we don't stick to our guns and charge for our services. Secondly our clients complain of cost and we reduce the quality of materials, which cheapen even the best of designs.

It is with this in mind, that this flier becomes the red flag.

Is this the state of architecture? Do architects now advertise, in the post like estate agents? We need to be strict with these people, who are churning out millions of Balinese, Tuscan and Classic templates for consumption by the unwitting masses.

Being pacifists we standby and watch these people reduce our professions to "someone who draws up plans". We spend ours thinking, drawing, talking, listening and then hopefully come up with something of greater value than a plan. Our role doesn't stop there. Who is going to argue with the builder to attain quality of workmanship, or make sure the client isn't being cheated?

These reductionists are perhaps more hazardous than we think. They have websites with comparisons of normal architectural fees juxtaposed with their reduced fees. The fees are so low that one cannot even buy a roll of paper for a plotter with this sum.

We need to be firm with these guys and regulate their prices, or regulate their business model. My worry is that this is a taste of things to come. Our profession needs to adopt our own advertising slogan, or steal one from the famous L'Oriel advert :"Because we're worth it!".

(Photo: Authors own)

It is with trepidation that I make a short comment on my recent trip to Rome. More specifically a visit to Dio Padre Misericordioso, in Tor Tre Teste, by Richard Meier.

My comment on the church mainly extends to its safety for the elderly and those who don't where suction pads on there feet. On this bleak cloudy day, with angry working class apartment blocks glowering over me, the church appears like a vision in white. Aptly the rain lends itself to the ship analogy, wet slick marble surrounds the church. I try to navigate my way over the water; how hard can this be. Well in very few words, extremely difficult.

Dear architects beware of the pitfalls of marble. Contextually it makes complete sense; but after a near fall it seems rather near sited, just like the parishioners of this church.

Casino's and theatres, an oddity

The Alexander Theatre Braamfontein (Joburg.org.za)

Recently it was my misfortune to experience the new Lyric theatre at Gold Reef City Casino. Initially my misapprehension about setting foot in a casino in the pursuit of theatrical entertainment seemed rather misplaced. The casino provides a perfect theatrical backdrop pre and post performance. However the nastiness of the environment leaves one feeling cheated.

Imagine the newly renovated Alexander theatre in Braamfontein; it strives to bring nighlife back to the city. Planners and architects envision the ghostly streets of Braamfontein linked by a variety of theatres, cafes, clubs and music venues. Thus the antithesis to the cultural node of Johannesburg exists at Gold Reef City Casino. Although I appreciate that Braamfontein is yet to become this bustling metropolis; why do we need to submitt to the consumerist muscle of the gaming house.

The Lyric theatre is smack bang at the entrance to the gaming floor of the casino. The hungry slot machines are so close to the ticket booth that one is almost forced to give a donation of sorts. Once tickets are bought and there is an hour to kill, you are free to either eat or gamble. Each of these choices is limited to the 'great indoors'. The restaurants all face the gaming floor and one is overcome with the noise eminating from this beast. A headache or earache from the polar air-conditioning system is also guaranteed.

With dinner hurriedly eaten we made our way to the theatre, up a very nice escalator into the fray of theatre goers. I will not begin to comment on the decor or the architecture of the theatre interior, as it really strives to match that of the casino. However the red velvet acoustic panelling on the walls scream "Moulin Rouge" from their slanted positions.

The show was fantastic and after a standing ovation we left our seats. Descending the escalators, with throngs of people leaving the performance, we were pushed out back onto the casino floor. Now I am putting the gloves on (also red and certainly not velvet). Why must I be confronted with the stuffy, dingy and desperate architecture of the casino on my way out?
Some of my fellow theatre goers were lured into the pit, others went for coffee under the fake trees ; but most of us disorientated from the flashing lights fled to the car park for shelter. We were glad to get into our cars and leave. This is something that the casino doesn't take into account. The average theatre goer is not interested in playing the slots or attempting to play a round of poker at 11-30pm. We've been stuck in a room with three hundred people for three hours ; we need a capuccino to review our opinions. We also appreciated the fact that the parking garage isn't fully enclosed, as this is the only breeze we will feel whilst in the confines of the casino.

I was quite disillusioned by this experience. My intention is not to boycott this venue but to be mindful of venues which fall short of our expectations as theatre goers.